Less than 50% of those who make New Year’s resolutions will be successful, according to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology. That means over half of those who set a goal will fail.
The most common New Year’s Resolutions according to a YouGov poll are eating healthier, exercising more, saving more money, self care, reading more, making new friends, learning a new skill, getting a new job, and taking up a new hobby.
So how does one achieve these worthy goals?
One very important strategy is to simply agree to say “yes” to yourself. I have learned that this small little word–yes–has a lot of power. By saying “yes” to yourself you will open up your world to amazing possibilities, and all those things you want to do—eating healthier, getting more sleep, reading more, taking on a new hobby or traveling to Costa Rica—will simply become a by-product.
So how does one say “yes” to yourself? I have come up with seven principles to live by: certain values and philosophies that will help you not only say “yes” to yourself but they will become part of the fabric of your lives leading you to transformation and change.
But first, let me give you a little background. A few years ago, I started the The Yes Mom Blog. My goal was to share my life’s adventures as a homeschooling mom, inspire people to say “yes,” be open to new experiences, stir up a little controversy, and as Maya Angelou suggested, “grab the world by the lapels and kick some ass.”
And I did just that. Kicked some ass, that is. But I also learned something in the process that changed my life. I found an immense measure of courage, respect, confidence, and myself each time I uttered this three letter word: yes!
And that is what I want for you this new year–to say yes and watch what happens. Watch how every “yes” transforms, requiring stepping out of your comfort zone, and living on the edge where all new growth occurs.
So here is my list. The great thing about this list is that you already have what it takes to say “yes” and achieve your goals. This just helps bring it, or shall I say bring “you”, to the forefront. Let the adventures begin.
Principle 1: Love Yourself and Others Unconditionally
Love with no conditions and no boundaries. Love just because. As Brazilian author, Paulo Coelho, explains, “One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving”. When you love yourself unconditionally, it gives you the ability to love others. To love in this manner is the most precious gift you can give to yourself and to the world.
Principle 2: Don’t Be Driven by Fear
Do not be a road block to your full potential because of fear. It is amazing how many people automatically say “no” to the world and choose comfort and security over taking risks or trying something new. Like Albert Einstein said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” Yes, life can be scary, but a life driven by fear is no life. It takes a bold person to let go of fear and say “yes” to the world, but the risk is well worth it.
Principle 3: Let Go of Expectations
It is imperative to let go of expectations. By letting go of expectations, you let go of control. Placing controls on one’s self, limits your true potential. So ditch those controlling words like “I should”, “I ought to”, and “I must”. Instead, embrace “I can”, and “I will”. Living life based on “should” is a heavy burden to carry. You either become ridden with a feeling of failure or guilt because you did not live up to your expectations or create a false-self attempting to live up to your expectations. Either way, it is a no-win situation. Living life based on “I can” is a win-win situation!
Principle 4: Believe in Yourself
You are awesome. Throw away doubt and believe in yourself. Doubt will only hold you back and keep you from the life you are meant to live. As Eleanor Roosevelt so brilliantly said, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Trust and believe that you are worthy and valuable. Give yourself permission to live, play, explore, dream, imagine, follow your passions, and of course, make mistakes. If you aren’t failing, you aren’t trying. In order to achieve you must believe.
Principle 5: Live by Principles not Rules
Live by principles, not rules. Many rules are biased, arbitrary and not necessary if you live by principals instead. Principles are basic fundamental beliefs, values and truths. When you live by these truths, good and desirable actions will follow. Like Abraham Lincoln so beautifully expressed, “I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.” These are words to live by.
Principle 6: Roll with the Punches
As Mastin Kipp from The Daily Love says, “If you fall down 1000 times, get up 1001 times.” Life is full of setbacks but do not dwell, crumble or feel like a victim. It is better to roll with the punches and take a few hits than to duck out of the way. You will be stronger and wiser from the experience. This is called resilience. We actually gain resilience over the years by taking punches and dealing with life’s problems. So the old adage is true, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.
Principle 7: Do What You Love
Do what you love. When work becomes pleasure, it is not work at all. As Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.” It brings joy and a deep sense of purpose and meaning to one’s life. So, if you want to be a drummer in a rock band, travel the world on a bicycle, join the circus, perform open heart surgery or write that New York Times Best Seller, GO FOR IT! It is your choice. Don’t find yourself behind a desk when you were meant to be behind a drum kit.
As you embrace these seven principles and learn to say “yes” to yourself, you will be amazed at what happens. When you love unconditionally, you will have the ability to love others. When you love others, you live fully. When you are living fully, you will not be afraid to try new things. If something doesn’t work, you will try again. When you let go of “I should” and “I ought to”, you embrace “I can” and “I will”. You will be able to make your own decisions even if it goes against the crowd. You will follow your dreams and become who you are meant to be, not what someone else wants you to be. Your good example will inspire others and in turn give them permission to go after their own dreams. When you live by these 7 principles, you say “yes” to yourself paving the way toward your goals and aspirations.
Happy 2019!
Deanne
These seven principals were first published November 2011 © Copyright
Posted 1st December 2011 by Esteem Yourself BlogTalkRadio